Conflict Management In The Church

Conflict is a big problem in everyday life, especially in church. Sometimes it can cause a family to leave the congregation or even cause a pastor to quit.

From personal experience, I know how hard dealing with conflict in church can really be. Every week you do the same thing, go to church on Sunday, go to church on Wednesday, come to an event. It becomes repetitive, and you become bored. But then someone decides to get rude with you, you shove that hurt down and keep going. But what do you do when it continues to happen? That person becomes mean and even starts pinning people against you. You must remember that grown-ups too, sometimes act childish. Sometimes it's not just children that must be reprimanded.

But you are about to lose it and you find yourself with an ultimatum. Continue on with biting your tongue until one day you blow up on that individual and you look like the bad guy. Or leave the church, after all they don't want you there anyway.  Many times me and my family are faced with the same decision. And for about 6 years we stayed at that church, the church where you feel unwelcome, unloved, hated. They refused to speak to us and when they would we would feel like we are the dumbest person ever. Although we felt that way, we stayed. We stayed because we know God has a bigger plan than what these people think. We stayed because we know God's got this and this is something we must learn from.

The Bible has a few things to say about conflict:

"Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him." -Luke 17:3

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another." -John 13:34

"There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing." -Proverbs 12:18

"Never pay back evil for evil to anyone Respect what is right in the sight of all men." -Romans 12:17

"A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger." -Proverbs 15:1

"This you know, my beloved brethren But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger" -James 1:19

"Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear." -Ephesians 4:29

Although many people don't think so there are ways to handle conflict biblically. Matthew 18:15-17 says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."

Which means come to your fellow Christian and explain why you are upset. Sometimes they will understand their wrongs and apologize. If not take someone else, someone acting as a mediator. If all else fails bring them to the pastor and explain whats wrong. Maybe the pastor will have a way to settle your differences. Sometimes we feel alone when conflict arises, but we have to remember that God is there and He has a bigger plan than what anyone can see or even imagine. He has a plan for all the pain and struggles you are facing. And his word has instructions on how to handle it.

Qualifications for Missionary Service

What are the Qualifications for Missionary Service? 

 Many people believe you just sign up and go to a foreign land and that's it. But little do they know there is just so much more to it. One must be sure in their calling to the mission field. God's method in reaching the world is through people, not just through the Bible.  It's pretty much all about timing. And God has a plan for the right person to be in the right place at the right time. There can be no doubt of your calling, especially with the devil afoot. You must believe with everything in you that God did the calling and sent you to the right place, so you can stand up to Satan and his attacks because believe me when he finds out that you are going to act on your calling, he comes running for you. You have moved up on his attack list.

A few questions to ask yourself about your divine calling:

1.  Do you know beyond a doubt that you are called and how was it demonstrated?*
2. In what way where you convicted of it and is it playing out in your life now?*
3. If the call is truly genuine, is this the right time for you or is further personal and professional growth needed?*

Questions concerning the evidence surrounding your call:

1. What is you level of Christian maturity? *
2. Is there ministry experience? If so, how successful has that been?*
3. Does your church and denomination back you or at least say they will?*
4. Have you declared a burden for a specific people group? If so, is there evidence of deepening knowledge and ministry among them in this country?*

Further questions would include:

1. What is your level of education and training?*
2. What do you know about missionary ministry and cultural problems that are to be faced?*
3. Is there sound evidence of spiritual and emotional stability? What about evidence of spiritual gifts and practical abilities?*
4. Do you have a sense of servant-hood and how are your interpersonal relationships? *
5. If you are unmarried, are you okay with going into the mission field unmarried?*
6. If married, how does your spouse feel about this calling? Are y'all both on the same level of commitment?*
7. If there are children, how many and what are their ages?*

People may not think, but many times when you enter the mission field with a teenager, they have a harder time adjusting. Due to the different culture, language, etc. Since they are transitioning into adulthood, this is a crucial time in their lives.

 Other things to consider would be how are you going to get there and will you be able to raise the funds? And another thing to look at is how have you done in the past with past ministries? The best way to judge future performance is with past performance.

To me there are other things to consider as well....

 Being a missionary is thought to be fun and easy. To be truthful, who would want to leave there families and venture out in the unknown? The only excitement I have found in the idea of going on a mission is pleasing  my God and helping children in other countries to come to know Him. My calling is to become a children's pastor missionary. I have spoken with many missionaries  and have found that many of them enjoy the adventure of it all, but they miss spending time with their families. Many of them are gone for many years at a time and some have come back home to bury their parents. I am frightened when I think about having to leave my family and go somewhere I have never been and being surrounded by people I have never met.

 Questions like, whats it going to be like there, am I going to get lost over there always fill my head, and many times I will just sit there and think about it all. Most of the time I get excited but sometimes not. I am sometimes faced with the I am not good enough's and I will never succeed. The only comfort I find is that even though I am not at home, my family will still love and miss me. And that my Jesus will always be with me, no matter how far away I am from my home. My Jesus will stay beside me no matter what and will protect me from what ever I face.

 For me, I can get depressed if I think long about the things I will have to do without. So overthinking is not a trait that I'm grateful for having, at this present moment. I have learned that if God plans it for me that trusting Him is all I can do. To me this "missionary thing" is a great deal bigger than most give it credit for. Picking up and leaving my family for an extended period of time to become a career missionary is a HUGE thing. I am worried that I will never meet or have a husband and family, one day. But forge ahead I must because in God's perfect timing these things shall be given to me, I just need to believe and have faith.

 I'm glad on one hand that I was single when I received the call because schooling would of been a lot more difficult to pursue if I would of had a boyfriend or fiance. But to all those out there that feel that they are called into mission work full-time, I say go for it! It's now or never! God is NEVER wrong. All of His promises do come to fruition. We have to have faith in our calling and continue in faith to pursue it. It's never a mistake and it should never be a burden. God's work is the most important work someone can be called to do.

**NOTE** These questions were taken from Introduction to Assemblies of God Missions (MIN261). Published by: Global University.

Leading with Integrity

 Often many of us have a hard time staying honest and truthful when thrown into the role of a leader. But we must keep in mind despite all that goes on around use we must try to keep our integrity. Here are a few reasons it is necessary to have integrity while leading:

1. Leadership functions on the basis of trust. If there is no trust in the relationship, how can you expect someone to follow your lead if you don't trust them and they don't trust you.
2. Integrity has high influence value. People would rather you tell them the truth. than for you try to make yourself like good.
3. Our tendency is to work harder on our images than on our integrity. Many times we are to focused on how we look than staying honest and fair to others.
4. Integrity means the leader lives the truth in his or her own life before leading others. To be a good effective leader, you must live in the truth you wish others to also live by.
5. A charismatic personality may draw people, but only integrity will keep them. No matter how exciting you are no one wants to have to deal with someone that doesn't live honestly. 
6. Integrity is a victory, not a gift. You must work towards having integrity, it is not just handed to you.
7. You will only become what you are becoming right now. Without integrity, you can not expect to move forward.
8. Leaders are to live by a higher standard that followers. If you wish to lead others in truth and honesty, you also must live the same way.

 

 While working on the Effective Leadership book from Global University, I have been working under a leader at my church. This leader has a very hard time seeing others succeed or work very well with the children she teaches. I have been working with her for a year now and she seems to have a fear that I am going to out do her. Even though I don't wish for her job, she acts like I do. It seems she has lost complete focus on the goal, of bringing children to Christ and now it's all about competing. I was quite surprised when reading this book, because many of the points seemed to answer everything I have been dealing with, with her.

It is hard sometimes to be a "Timothy" in a situation where you can actively see your "Paul" faltering in the position that they were given or placed in. But if you handle it as Paul has instructed us all to do in these instances you will see a clear divide. Usually after much prayer and devotion to the word and placing it in God's hands your situation can do a complete 180. God will fix it or you will move on. We can't at the same time be afraid of the change that something like this may bring. This will be where our faith comes into play and we will have to rely on the fact that God is the director of our path and He has decided to change things up a bit. We have to trust Him, fully and completely.

 So what do you do when your mentor may not be functioning correctly or adequately? In 1 Corinthians Chapter 13, Paul gives an excellent set of guidelines to keep us accountable. To check ourselves and then go to God with our findings. I think the most important thing that I have learned for my situation is that God's voice, presence, and His objective should always remain at the forefront of my mind at all times. And that there will be leaders that "rub us the wrong way" and we have to handle it the way He wants us to.

Different Types of Sermons

I recently began my study on Homiletics. Homiletics is the art of preaching or writing sermons. In this study I learned that there are multiple ways to write a sermon. Three types that were stated are Topical, Textual, and Expository. I listed the definitions of these three main types of sermons below:


Topical:

 A topical sermon is to consider the topic or theme of a passage.


Textual:

 The textual sermon has much in common with both the topical sermon and the expository sermon. Like the topical sermon it takes its subject from the text; however, the text itself controls the development of the outline. Other portions of Scripture may be quoted or referred to in support of the points made, but the whole outline is the outline of the text itself, not logical development of the topic.


Expository:

The term expository comes from the Latin exposui- "to have laid open the truth for inspection and understanding." We cannot open up to others what is not first open to us. The expository sermon is not simply an easy way out for the lazy or overworked preacher. It is the exposing of the message of a Scripture portion that provides directly all the main and subdivisions of the sermon.

 This study has shown me the many ways of going about writing a sermon. Different things like gestures and speech, but the thing that stood out to me the most is that I apparently write more like the Topical type. I feel that Topical is what I will use the most when I start writing sermons. Right now, I have begun to write Children's Church Lessons and I have found that Topical is the one I use the most. I am just a beginner to the whole sermon world, but I hope to one day write a sermon from each of these types. I like choosing a topic and then researching for scripture and finally sermon illustrations to expound on what I have learned.


 My Dad is a minister and looking over his sermons, he writes more topical sermons and says to him these are the easier of the three to write. Preaching on your congregations daily life, I believe falls into this category. The ups and downs that a believer has to endure on a daily basis and how as a believer they are expected to handle it graciously and how to do it according to Christ is something that a sermon should cover at least most of the time; basically, because it is relevant to our issues, today.


 It is very important to know how to write each or at least know the difference between these different types so that you will know how to adequately correct or encourage others.  

A Brief Explanation of the Synoptic Gospels and My Thoughts

Matthew, Mark, And Luke all have a way of complementing each other, yet they are all quite different.

 Matthew directs his writing more to the Jewish audience. He is found trying to compare Old Testament Messianic prophesy to our Messiah, Jesus Christ. Do to a Jewish outlook he gives only the royal genealogy of Jesus. Matthew connects King David with Christ in order to show his Messianic Kingship.You'll find he also only writes of Christ's teaching.

 With a Gentile point of view, Mark focuses upon Jesus's actions, such as miracles, Christ's suffering, and his ultimate sacrifice. Through Mark's words we see how Jesus' actions, came to have a meaning and teach us something. So in Mark,we are shown to show Christs' love through our actions.

 Luke did his best to take what Christ taught and the things that he did and turn them around to show the world all that there was to know about the Messiah. Luke gives us a universal point of view, one that isn't directed to one group of people but to all. As we go along we come to the genealogy of Jesus once more, but instead of the Royal Lineage (like Matthew), we find the physical genealogy of Joseph (Christ's suspected  father). And if you look closely, you'll find that instead of Josephs father, Jacob being listed it is actually Mary's father Heli, this being listed due to Jewish Tradition.

 With Matthew's writings about Jesus's teaching and Mark's writings about Christ's actions, we find Luke intertwined the two. Matthew, Mark, and Luke  each differ in the way they begin their writings. You'll find that Matthew and Luke begin their gospels with Christ's Birth, while Mark begins his with Christ's Baptism.

 After reading each Gospel and learning a bit more about each one, I've found Luke to be more thorough in showing the life of Christ. He gives you both teaching & actions and I enjoy that about Luke. Because he doesn't really direct his Gospel towards anyone specifically, I feel most at home with Luke. I like that he just tries to tell the story and tell the world about Christ.This is something that all of us should strive to do as well, so his writing in my opinion is an excellent example for us all.

 Matthew, Mark, and Luke gives us a glimpse into our Savior's life. Seeing His life played out in front of us, gives us a more intimate look into the role He would eventually play in each of our lives. We learn more about Him so we feel closer to Him. I'm grateful that these men took it upon themselves to show us this view of Him.