Alone

  I know I'm alone. I don't fall asleep to the warm embrace of my husband. No. Instead I curl up under a quilt with a fan going, drowning out the creepy creaking of our old house. I don't wake up to the smile or a good morning kiss from my man, who loves my closeness in spite morning breath. No, I wake up to my brothers running through the house. A cat playing with my hair (more like putting it in knots). I don't get told I'm beautiful while I wipe drool from my face.

  I'm alone. I put my headphones on and get ready for work. I dance around my bedroom getting dressed. I pull faces in my mirror, cause there is no one there to say a word. I go to work in a little ratty beetle bug, that's driver door is broke and smells awful. I jam out to either the oldies or Christmas music all the way to work. Cause I'm alone, no one is there to change the station.

  I go to work at a daycare each and every day, I laugh when the kids recognize me and yell out my name. I enjoy their enthusiasm as they run to hug me. I like joking with my coworkers and get excited when they play along. I leave work at crazy hours and get stuck in traffic. I'm always late for supper, but blessed it's there when I get home. I'm alone, so I don't have to make supper after work everyday. Im greeted by my parents and little brothers as soon as I get in the door. We eat supper together and watch silly shows & movies. I enjoying laughing.

  We say prayers as a family, everyone has a need. We pray for those around us, leaving no one out. We each head to our own rooms, me to my pig stye of a room. But I'm alone, I like it that way. It's perfect  cause I know where everything is, no one is touching or moving things. I brush my teeth staring at myself in the mirror. No one comes up behind me and pulls me close, whispering sweet nothings in my ear. No, I'm alone; picking at my face, looking for grey hairs, sticking my tongue out, and pulling on my ears.

  I'm alone. I'm crazy, kooky, zany, geeky. Could quote every word of Twilight or The Princess Bride, to you. I love animals, cars, and sweets. I enjoy being... well, me. I'm the epitome of a geek and I'm cool with that. I've got a pair of legging for every occasion and holiday. I'm comfortable in my own skin. I'm happy with who I've become, no matter how odd my purple haired self may be. . My past is full of mistakes. And my future, I know I'll see many more. But for now, I'm enjoying just being me. I enjoy doing crazy things, like riding all the roller coasters at the fair.

  God has brought me to this point for a reason. Cause He could of let me pass back in May. Although it's unknown to me, I'll trust Him with every fiber of my being. I trust Him, with everything. I'm finding myself more and more each day. And everyday, I'm enjoying being alone. I enjoy the silence, the stillness. In the quiet, you can hear Him and I want to be enveloped in His presence. So if I'm meant to be alone, so be it, anything to be closer to MY KING!!!